Dear Pain,
I can still remember the first time I laughed; I truly laughed. All the familiar people in my life sat in small, but insignificant wood-paneled room. It smelled of cheap candy and aged cedar. No lone joke comes to mind, yet a pleasantry from all gave the joy that filled my heart. The thought of pain in that memory certainly did not exist, and for many years to follow the same. That time was 1995.
When most of us are young we never lack our sense of wonder. We are curious of everything. We taste the wind so we can smell the leaves brush our cheeks. We listen so we can hear the comforting sound of our mothers breath, and we smile knowing it’s just around the corner. [‘Why did we put dirt on our faces?’] The present moment stayed the present, and the future would have a time of its own. 1989—-
—Sailing into the Unlit Room May 17th 2011—
I didn’t know where I was; I didn’t know where I was to go. When my sails had been torn, no one told me they may never be whole again. Only my mast kept me afloat.
One hiccup never means that there won’t be another, but a sip of water may give you the ambition to dream around them. This, this is the future that befriends the present place. But, the wise need be careful not to pendulum between the two too often. The balance of both is what you would call dreaming.
Dear Pain,
This eye of mine you glide with your sharp and dull blades. A sheet of ice you made your circus. You chuckle and you grin, but close your ear to my screams of despair. You play as you please and hear none. You confront my spirit but succumb to my will. For years you attack my frailty with torment assured my mast could soon be broken. With each fracture furthered—–2011—-
—Sinking into Light March 2018—
If I may be so fortunate to share a proposal of my own: I have been so blessed to have learned so much about myself and the beautiful fascinating people of our world, over the last three years. They may have been the most impactful years of them all. I have been confused, overjoyed, angry, filled with laughter, bewildered, or any number of adjectives you may imagine. But, I can only conclude one thing about combating chronic arduous pain. Fight it with Love. Love everyone and everything. Love your friends and family. Most importantly love the moments. For the moments are most precious to you. They are distinctive. They are un-repeating and undoubtedly fleeting. Love will rip you out of the darkness and into the light. Your sails and mast will never be made new, but they can be repaired so you can sail home in the night.
‘I am Jon D. and I am 31 years old and I have suffered from a currently incurable chronic pain condition called Hemicrania Continua. There is only one guaranteed effective medication currently; It is called Indomethacin. However, there is constant research and trials using other remedies of many types. Some patients have found benefit from high doses of melatonin. I am actually going to fly to Philadelphia soon to try a clinical procedure where they do non-invasive injections in the cervical spine to burn the nerve. It typically helps me to use ice packs during pain moments, or a head massage is never a bad thing (have put many girlfriends through hell with this one). Overall, I think it is most important to stay exercising, eating healthy, and constantly keeping yourself in a positive environment, with positive people. Don’t allow yourself to get around depressants or be in negative environments because it truly can be a slippery slope. You will guaranteed reach a time where you feel like there is no way out, but through Love and beautiful Moments, a full heart you will have.’
Love Jon
If you would like to connect with Jon, please use the info listed below
Email: Jon Davis
Learn more about Hemicrania Continua:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19456881/
https://jnnp.bmj.com/content/83/11/1099